Starting over at 41. I didn't think I still had this kind of courage in me.

The first time I went through heartbreak I was 26. It was terrible. But I had energy I didn't know I had. I bounced back — probably because I didn't know yet how much the bounce would cost. The second time, I was 41. After a six-year relationship. And I simply did not believe I had what it would take to rebuild again. At 41, you know more. You know how long it actually takes. You know what loneliness feels like in every season. You know that there are no shortcuts. And somehow, knowing all that makes it feel more impossible, not less. I joined Kandhaa without much hope. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. But the first conversation I had — with someone my age, also starting over after a long relationship — cracked something open. She said: "The fact that we still care enough to be this sad about it means we still believe in connection. That's not naive. That's brave." I didn't think bravery was something I was still doing. I thought I was just surviving. But maybe those are the same thing, depending on where you're standing. I'm still figuring out what starting over looks like for me at this age. But I know now that I'm not the only one doing it. And that changes everything.